Behold: Katie Thurston's Funniest 'Bachelorette' Contestant Bios

We’re mere WEEKS away from the premiere of Katie Thurston’s season of The Bachelorette, and by all accounts it should be romantic, chill, and hopefully not that messy. So far the Powers That Be at ABC have only released one meager promo that involves a dude showing up dressed as a cat (sure, sure, sure), but the network just dropped the always-iconic cast bios and they delivered.

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Just based on this Instagram ^ we know that Katie’s cast includes Landon, a “proud and loyal Belieber” who is made happy by the simple joy of Christmas lights. Wow. Okay! Then we have Michael, who apparently makes a “mean plate of dino nuggies” (don’t hate that!); Mike, who “occasionally describes himself as basic;” Thomas, who “rocked the Ed Hardy trend back in high school;” and Tre, who is “irrationally terrified of piranhas.”

Got it. I can get on board with all of this and truly can’t wait to meet these men IRL, by which I mean on TV.

Please note that we already have some pretty major spoilers about who makes it to Katie’s final four and whether or not she’s currently engaged to her winner, so head this way if you want to find out what happens before everyone else does. Just pls note: Katie’s winner has not been revealed yet by fan accounts and it’s unclear if we’ll find out who she ends up with before the show starts on June 7. But hey—there are still a few more weeks for spoilers to drop so happy sleuthing.

You love all the deets, news, and spoilers on The Bachelorette cast. So do we. Let’s overanalyze them together. ✔️

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