It’s easy to rag on Gwyneth Paltrow and her lifestyle brand Goop. Since the site launched in 2008, the actress-turned-businesswoman has promoted a “surprisingly affordable yacht rental service.” She’s raved about the potentially dangerous practice of vaginal steaming. She’s hawked jade “yoni eggs” for vaginas that are supposed to help balance hormones and regulate menstrual cycles. (That claim drew the attention of government lawyers, who accused her company of misleading consumers.)
The sometimes bizarre, occasionally tone-deaf guidance from Goop extends, unsurprisingly, to the site’s annual holiday gift guides. Sure, there are some fun (and budget-friendly) items on Paltrow’s lists, like a $15 wine and cheese pairing swatchbook or a cute $13 go-fish card game to play with your kids. But as Goop itself admits, there are plenty of “ridiculous” gifts suggestions as well. Here are a few of the most over-the-top ideas.
A “luxe” fire extinguisher
Most people have safety, not style, in mind when buying a fire extinguisher. But if the standard red model doesn’t cut it, Goop suggests wrapping up the the $250 Luxe Brass Fire Extinguisher from Safe-T.
A really expensive custom photo book
If a custom photo book from Shuterfly isn’t up to your standards, Goop has a solution. The artists at thatbook will craft a “luxury heirloom object,” creating a beautiful book out of your memories. The photographers will even join in on a family trip or other occasion to document the event. Starting at $75,000.
A year’s worth of vacations
Give one of your nearest and dearest 12 endangered species-focused trips from bespoke travel company Momentum Adventure. The cost? A cool $1.3 million. Be sure to throw in a few (OK,, a lot of) carbon offets from Terrapass to make up for all that flying ($4.99 per 1,000 pounds.)
A trip to the moon
Go above and beyond (literally) with your gift-giving when you present your loved one with a trip to space on Virgin Galactic. From $250,000, but all currently available seats on the first flights (which are set to take place sometime in 2020) have been sold.
A $500 coffeemaker
Goop promises that the Ratio Eight Smart Coffee Maker is “idiotproof.” With a price tag of $495, we’d hope so. According to Goop, it’s “a tech-packed countertop barista with a control board laser-focused on delivering the perfect brew.”
A $1,500 version of a classic kids’ game
You can pick up a Connect Four game at Target for less than $7. But Goop gives its endorsement to the Four In a Row Wonderstone Marble Set from Edie Parker. The $1,495 game takes “the classic four-in-a-row game from family camp to yacht cabin.”
Toilet paper ‘with a conscience’
A simple roll of Charmin doesn’t cut it for Paltrow, apparently. She recommends this $34, 24-roll package of No. 2 Toilet Paper. The “toilet paper with a conscience” is made with “100% sustainable bamboo, per Goop, and comes in “chic dark floral packaging.” Just what everyone wants to find under the tree on Christmas morning.
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