My mum’s demanding to be paid for looking after her grandson – she lives with us for free but still wants the cash

A WOMAN has been left "hurt" after her mother demanded money for looking after her son – despite the fact she lives with them for free.

She took to Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable thread to explain the situation, writing that her mother has been living with her and her husband for the past year to help out with their child.

"She has helped us out a lot by looking after my son when both me and my husband are in a pinch," she wrote.

"This has been great and much appreciated and at first I thought she was happy to help out because she expressed how much she wanted a grandchild before my son was born."

And while the situation had been working for the past year, the woman's mother has now asked for money for looking after her grandson.

"She has recently said she now wants to be paid for looking after my son and is upset that we haven’t paid her at all," the post continued.

"She did not indicate that she expected payment in the first place."

She added that her mother pays no money to live with them, and has also gone on "a few holidays" with them as well.

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She's also divorced, single and retired, "so it’s not like she has been missing out on any employment income anyway".

"If anything I’m more hurt that she feels this way, as my point of view us paying her feels like a transaction and not the fact that it’s her grandchild," the woman continued.

"I’m more than happy to pay for expenses that she might incur for looking after my son but in our case there isn't any because she lives with us.

"But if she wants payment then I might as well take my son to a nursery when I'm back at work."

The majority of people commenting on the post agreed that the mother was being unreasonable in asking for payment for babysitting given that she lives there for free.

If anything I’m more hurt that she feels this way, as my point of view us paying her feels like a transaction and not the fact that it’s her grandchild

"To live with you in your house at no expense and to them charge you for childcare is not on," one person wrote.

"Say yes – happy to pay you," someone else commented. "At the same time, we set up the rental agreement for us housing you/subsidising your living expenses and then we can knock it off what you owe us…!

Others disagreed, arguing that it was strange the woman hadn't offered to pay her mother for the childcare in the first place.



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"I would pay her," one person wrote. "It is hard looking after a 9 month old all day every day.

"I think it is odd that you don't. I paid my mother to look after my child."

And several people suggested having a sit down conversation to figure out just what was going on.

"This type of request doesn’t come from thin air," someone wrote.

"She either feels like you’re using her and so has asked for payment to end the arrangement, or you or your DH may have accidentally insulted or offended her by mentioning the extras you do pay for.

"If she were truly happy with you and your family she would never have asked for money, so you do need to delve a bit deeper before having a go."

"I'd have an adult sit down/chat," another person commented.

"You need better communications between you all. It can't be assumed that she will mind your baby for free.

"Equally, it cannot be assumed she can live with you for free! Seems strange if its a rare, ad hoc thing, that she brings up payment now."

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