Dealing with rejection can be hard – here are some ways to process it and move forward.
No matter how we try to spin it, rejection sucks.
Whether it’s the end of a relationship or the loss of a job opportunity, those feelings of frustration, sadness or even a severely bruised ego can leave you feeling a little down in the dumps.
As someone who does look for the positive in things, I do often try to see the bright side of rejection and believe that what’s meant for you is for you. But even as I positively reflect on things that haven’t gone my way, that pang of rejection can still remain just a little bit – and that’s normal; after all, we are human.
But not dwelling for too long on the negatives is important not only for your own wellbeing but also your approach to life. Let’s face it, not everything is going to go your way, so it’s important to recognise that, feel your feelings and then move forward.
But how do we move past that feeling of rejection? Well, therapist Lucille Shackleton has shared a post that suggests four things you can do to move past rejection.
In the post, which has received over 3,000 likes, Shackleton suggests that those struggling with rejection should try not to get stuck in thoughts of “what’s wrong with me”.
“This internal dialogue results in us feeling worse,” she writes. “Challenge those thoughts.”
Shackleton adds that it’s important to be kind to yourself and practice self-love and compassion.
Doing things that get you “out of your mind and into your body” is another recommendation from Shackleton, adding that activities like breathwork, running, yoga, stretching and swimming could help you refocus your mind and take you away from ruminating thoughts of rejection.
Lastly, the therapist advises that people “don’t ruminate on thoughts of ‘what if’.
“Practice accepting that it’s over; it hurts but it’s more productive to face the hurt than to fantasise about changing [someone’s] mind.”
“Feeling like we’ve been rejected really hurts,” Shackleton captioned the post.
“The most important thing is to treat yourself like someone you deeply love. If your best friend was going through what you are, what advice would you give to them about how to care for themselves? We often are so much kinder and more compassionate to those we love. It’s time to show that same compassion to ourselves.”
There’s no one-size-fits-all way to deal with rejection, but trying different ways to move past those feelings can be key to your own personal development.
When I ruminate on thoughts of rejection, I find thinking about the bigger picture always helps. Even if something hasn’t gone my way, I think about what that represents on a larger scale and how that job opportunity, friend or thing no longer being in my life can make way for something better.
I’ve also learned to allow myself to feel those feelings and acknowledge that I may feel a little dejected, which helps me to move past it and focus on the good around me as opposed to the one or two things that could be better.
And if you feel like that may not work for you, try connecting with other people who appreciate and love you and engage in activities that assist in your own personal development. Whatever steps you take, it’s a process towards moving past rejection and bouncing back bigger and better than before.
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