I haven't had an erection in TWO years and I think my wife should leave me

DEAR DEIDRE: I FEEL that my wife should leave me because I am letting her down in the bedroom department.

We have been married for 12 years and have three children, aged ten, seven and three. I am 45, she is 43. We always had a healthy sex life and she is my best friend. But I’ve not had an erection in two years.

She doesn’t complain and says she loves me, even if we can never have sex again. But I can’t accept that, for myself or for her.

A doctor prescribed me Viagra. I took it once but didn’t like the way you can’t be spontaneous and it gave me a terrible headache the next day.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Let’s be clear – you are not in a loveless marriage. From what you have told me, you both love and care about each other a great deal.

Erectile dysfunction is often put right simply by agreeing to take sex off the agenda for a few weeks.

After that, erections will often return naturally, along with self-confidence.

This problem is often worsened by anxiety. A one-off event can quickly lead to a cycle of worrying and inability to perform.

You can break the cycle and get back on track with a healthy sex life. I am sending you my support pack Solving Erection Problems, which will help.

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