Mum's ashes were going to be interred with dad but my sisters have kept them

DEAR DEIDRE: THE ashes of my mum were going to be interred with my father, who died years ago.

But my sisters decided to keep them and now pass them between their houses.


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I am a man of 51. Mum died late last year and was cremated. My sisters and I don’t get on. They are denying me access to her ashes and refuse to have them buried as agreed.

They are depriving me of the right to grieve in the proper way. I have tried to reason with them but I get no response. They hardly had anything to do with Mum when she was alive. I was the only person she’d visit.

DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry. It could be your sisters’ guilt at how they treated your mum when she was alive is driving them to behave so unfeelingly now she has gone.

I can understand the symbolism of her ashes but her spirit can live on for you and is far more important.

Why not create your own special place to remember your mum, where you can reflect on her qualities, her values and your love for one another?

My e-leaflet Coping With Bereavement can help you too.

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