My son doesn't know my husband isn't actually his real dad – should I tell him now he's older?

DEAR DEIDRE: I GOT pregnant just weeks before I met my husband. Is it finally time to tell my adult son the truth?

We never meant to keep it a secret and now we’re worried it’s too late to come clean. We’re both 52.

It was always our intention to sit him down and tell him about it when he was grown up enough to understand – perhaps when he was 16.

I reached out to his biological father to ask if he wanted contact and it threw me when he refused. To avoid hurting my son, we kept quiet a little longer. He’s now 22.

But other members of the family know and we worry it will come out by accident.

What if he ends up hating us for keeping it secret?

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DEIDRE SAYS: If you worry he could find out from others, it would be better for him to learn the truth from you.

Your son has been brought up by your husband as his own and it is important to reassure him that bond will always exist.

Can you and your husband sit down together to tell your son?

This will be a lot for your son to take in, so be prepared for some tricky questions.

You will need to support him as he takes in this information – and he may be very hurt.

There is a lot to consider, so contact Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222). They will understand the implications.

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