It looks like Thinx, which is under new leadership after co-founder and former CEO Miki Agrawal was publicly accused of sexually harassing employees, is expanding beyond its repertoire of period panties. At a recent pop-up event in New York City, the company unveiled something called a “Period Sex Blanket,” or a regular blanket that employs the special period-proofing technology Thinx uses in its undies.
Hailed as a “sex blanket for people with periods,” the thick blankie goes for $369, or more than my Amazon bed frame cost. According to the sale page for the blanket, it’s meant to help “smash the taboo” of period sex, and invoke a sense of “low-key #periodpride.” It’s just the latest in a growing market of useless products designed to make period sex better. No one needs any of these, and no one needs this blanket.
It’s your money, I’m not your mom, I’m not your financial advisor, and I frankly don’t care what you spend money on. But consider what $369 can buy. That’s enough money for most domestic roundtrip flights. It’s enough for three pairs of nice jeans, or more than enough for that pair of too-expensive sandals you’ve probably been eyeing since May. With $369 you could buy 738 multicolored dick straws, or 60 Mega Fart Whoopie Cushions.
All of these things would be more useful to you than a fancy period blanket.
To the same tune that “any body with a bikini on it is a bikini body,” any blanket that you have period sex on is a period-sex blanket. The pop-art duvet you bought at Urban Outfitters in 2010 and somehow still have? Period sex blanket. The throw your grandma hand-knitted you? Period sex blanket. The towel that already has various blood stains on it from where you nicked yourself shaving? Yes, still a period blanket.
You don’t need an expensive blanket to “smash the taboo” of period sex. Period sex is great. A lot of people say they have their best orgasms while on their period. Other people hate period. Neither of these options is better. Whatever you’re comfortable with is the right answer, because period stigma is real and some people feel bloated and farty on their periods and don’t want to have sex!
But here’s the thing. A nearly $400 blanket won’t make you any more comfortable with period sex, just as it won’t help you get over a lifetime of period shaming.
Still, I do get it. For the period sex-enjoyers, it’s not always fun to sleep in a bed of your own blood, post-coitus. If you want a period blanket but are on a budget, here are some options for thrifty gals who love sex, love their periods, and love having sex on their periods. Don’t be dumb.
If you’re on a budget
Kill two birds with one stone and get That Throw Every College Student Has to use as your go-to period blanket. This sucker is cozy, it’s warm, it’s soft, and it comes in navy (which hides period stains!). And I can personally attest that, in a pinch, it can be used as a curtain if/when your dorm room mini-blinds fall out of the wall.
If all your sheets are at the laundromat
Or maybe you just have one pair of sheets. In any case, your period blanket is a towel. Easier to wash, easy to throw in the hamper after sex. Perfect solution.
If you’ve lost your mind
This thing. Whatever. Your money.
If you want to have period sex, but also have anxiety
If you feel a little ~frisky~ yet ~calm~ when the dentist places the weighted X-ray vest on you, this weighted blanket is your best bet for happy, anxiety-free period sex. A little tip? Buy it in a dark color and the blood will be less obvious.
If you just want regular sheets that can also be for period sex
These sheets are inexpensive and have more than 40,000 Amazon reviews. That can’t be a bad thing.
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