For nearly a decade, Rachel Dratch has read aloud from the musings of Madonna, Ethel Merman and Burt Reynolds’ secretary. Lately, the “SNL” alum and others have shared all that and more at the Marquis Theatre, where “Celebrity Autobiography on Broadway” ends its limited run Monday night. “I’ve been opening the show with Mr. T,” the 52-year-old tells BARBARA HOFFMAN. “Not that I’m anything like him.” Here’s where the former Debbie Downer, who lives between the East Village and Gramercy with son Eli, 8, and their rescue poodle mix, Ruffles, spends her down time.
Because I don’t have a regular 9-to-5 schedule, my weekends aren’t all that precious. Usually, it’s about trying to entertain the kid, and it usually [involves] a birthday party at Chelsea Piers.
I don’t like going to brunch that often, but Eli loves IHOP, which is right nearby. It’s a windowless nightmare open 24 hours a day, so there’s never a time I can say, “No, we can’t go there, it’s closed,” but I try to avoid it at all costs. But he also loves Smörgås Chef, in Scandinavia House. It’s the opposite of IHOP — it’s, like, airy and Swedish, and he loves the waffles there. There’s this really cool play area there that he loved to visit when he was 3, but now we just go for the waffles.
I never really go to museums, but I like to know they’re there. We’ve been a bunch of times to MoMath [the National Museum of Mathematics] near Madison Square Park. It has lots of fun activities for kids, so you don’t feel like you’re doing math: puzzles and shapes and brain teasers, and a bike with square wheels you can ride around on. Stuff like that. And Shake Shack is right there, and it’s near the Lego store, too. Sometimes we get the gelato at Eataly afterward.
Now Eli’s learning about Keith Haring in school, and I saw there was a Keith Haring exhibit at a gallery in Chelsea. I thought, “I’m gonna be this New York mom and take him!” So we got there, and a lot of the paintings weren’t the kind he knew. They were a little more, well, adult, and not as fun for a kid. We took one quick spin through and then he looked me in the eye and said, “You owe me an apology!”
I feel like I should stick to Dave & Buster’s, which is MY nightmare. Trying to walk the line between what your kid wants and what you want . . . at the end of the day, kids just wanna go to Dave & Buster’s.
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