"I haven't said it yet, but it didn't work out," Taraji P. Henson shared on a recent episode of The Breakfast Club. Scroll on to learn more about her split from Kelvin Hayden.
It's over for Taraji P. Henson and Kelvin Hayden.
During the Oct. 19 episode of iHeartRadio's The Breakfast Club, the 50-year-old actress confirmed she and the 37-year-old football player have called it quits.
"I haven't said it yet, but it didn't work out. You know what I mean?" Henson said. "And I tried. I was like, 'Therapy. Let's do the therapy thing.' But if you're both not on the same page with that, then you feel like you're taking it on yourself. And that's not a fair position for anybody to play in a relationship. My happiness is not his responsibility and his happiness is not mine. We have to first learn how to make ourselves happy to make each other happy."
The Empire star, who was part of a group discussion on trauma's impact on relationships, added that "when one person is taking on the weight of the entire relationship, it's never going to work."
"You have to show up, and, yes, you want to be understanding," she said. "But you can't lose yourself in that understanding. You have to still stand up for yourself and be there for yourself, but it's hard to do if the other person isn't doing that part either."
When asked if they tried to make it work, Henson made it clear she wasn't "going into that."
"It's nobody's business what's going on in my personal life," she said. "All I'm saying is relationships take work. And it takes both sides to really be there. It's selfless. Sometimes, you gotta sit on it. Sometimes, you can't take it to him. Sometimes, you gotta take it to the therapist and work it out first. That's why it is so important. And no, your therapist ain't your preacher. Your therapist is not your pastor….Nobody at the church is your therapist. I'm sorry."
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Understanding is the key to begin the journey to healing together. Shouts to @tarajiphenson, @traciejade and @kingjaybarnett for joining us this morning.
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The Golden Globe winner also agreed that a relationship is not going to last if one person is on a journey of healing and the other person is not.
"It's not ever going to work," she said. "Because what's going to happen is you're going to find yourself growing, right, and that person isn't because they're not doing the work. So naturally, you're going to grow apart."
Henson and Hayden first sparked romance rumors in 2015 when they were spotted holding hands in Miami. However, it would be years before she confirmed the relationship.
"I'm not the type to blast my personal business. But, you know, I think that's important for people to know. I'm happy. I'm very, very happy. I just am," she said during a 2017 episode of the Essence podcast Yes, Girl!. "And you know, we've been together for two years. No one would really know that because I don't really blast my info like that. But I'm very happy."
By 2018, the two were engaged. "I said yes y'all!!!" Henson announced on Instagram that May. "He started with the Cartier love bracelet BUT that was my #Mothersday gift and then he dropped to his knee and I almost passed out!!! #SheIsOfficiallyOffTheMarket and she is sooooooooooooo HAPPY!!!!!!"
Earlier this year, Henson told Extra they were originally scheduled to get married on April 4, 2020 but that they postponed the date. "It was 4/4/20, and we really were going to do it 4/4/20," she said. "But my wedding planner was like, 'In case it rains, we'll have umbrellas'…and I was like, 'You know what, never mind about April, let's move it later.'"
Split speculation then spread after fans noticed Hayden's absence on Henson's social media accounts.
Watch the video to hear her interview on The Breakfast Club.
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