Virgins Reveal Why They’ve Never Gone All The Way

A Reddit post asked people why they were still virgins, and the answers were many and varied.

Last week a user posted the question to the r/AskWomen subreddit “what are your reasons for remaining a virgin?” With over a hundred comments later, the answers were numerous and ranged from simply being uninterested in sex to being anxious or fearful of other people.

Or they had absolutely no idea.

“I’m 27, still a virgin. Never even had my first kiss,” writes Reddit user Dogs-4-Life. “It’s not even because I haven’t tried, either. I think I look okay, although I am very tall. As tall or taller than many men, so maybe it scares them off. I have a good personality, lots of friends, hobbies, decent social life. I don’t think I’m dull and boring, lol.”

While some had little to no explanation for their virginity, others knew exactly what was holding them back. Reddit user milkbeamgalaxia admitted they hadn’t been trying particularly hard to find someone. “Virgin. Never been kissed. To be fair, I haven’t tried, but I live in a small town while all of my friends have moved on and done things with their lives. I haven’t put myself out there, so I’m partially to blame for that.”

Lack of self-esteem or opportunity wasn’t always the culprit. Some responded that they simply hadn’t found the right guy and that sex for its own sake wasn’t something to chase after. “I’m 22, idk nobody’s been interested,” wrote user pjsdino. “I’m not really interested in pursuing a sexual experience just because I haven’t had one.”

“22 and still a virgin. I’ve had opportunities, but it never seemed right to me. I don’t regret rejecting those times,” agreed BobbyMcBobBobthe4.

Others had darker reasons for avoiding physical intimacy. Reddit user improveinthemorning revealed a personal story that prevents her from losing her virginity. “I was sexually harassed by an older family friend while I was a kid and I have the idea that sex is something to be afraid of, something wrong. Even though I had the opportunity to lose my virginity with someone special, I’m scared and I don’t really want to do it.”

Finally, many users revealed themselves as asexual, meaning they simply didn’t have the same desire for a bedroom romp as the rest of us. “I’m on the asexuality spectrum, for one, so sex isn’t something I particularly care about,” replied user reusablethrowaway-. “I would have to feel very comfortable with someone to even let them touch me, which is not acceptable in the current dating climate.”

Regardless of the reason, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of, and neither should anyone feel they should run headlong towards a sexual encounter due to their own embarrassment or lack of experience. Sex is fun but messy, enjoyable yet complicated, and everyone will get to it in their own time.

Or not, and that’s okay too.

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