Camryn Clifford is opening up about the death of her husband Landon Clifford.
A week after Camryn first shared the heartbreaking news that the 19-year-old father of two had died following what she described as a brain injury and a subsequent six days in a coma, the YouTube star felt ready to share his story in full.
“This is definitely going to be the hardest video that I’ve ever had to make,” she said at the start of the emotional YouTube video. “It’s a very important story to be told and it is my job to tell it, but it’s not an easy story to tell at all.”
Camryn went on to explain that her husband struggled with mental health issues “for as long as I have known him,” and that behind the scenes he was dealing with anxiety, depression and ADHD.
While Camryn was pregnant with the couple’s second child — daughter Delilah Rose, who was born in May — she says her husband “started falling into a depression,” which she doesn’t believe had anything to do with their daughter.
“Many factors just kind of contributed to the fact that his mental health just wasn't really great at the time,” she continued, explaining that after her husband decided to see a psychiatrist in order to get the help he needed, he ended up falling into a “vicious cycle” with the medicine he was prescribed.
“They were highly addictive,” she explained. “And he just kept taking more and more.”
By the time Camryn realized that her husband was not taking his medication as prescribed, “he was so far into it that it was really hard to just stop.”
“No matter how many times he tried fixing it on his own, it never worked,” she added, noting that at the time she also began to fall into a depression and “it just became really hard for us to function.”
Although they were both “really happy” for a while after the birth of their daughter, as the full weight of being parents of two sunk in, they decided to take some time to focus on their mental health, and both went away to be with their families.
After they began living together again, Camryn said that things “really seemed like they were looking up,” but on August 13, Landon apologized to his wife for “everything he put me through” and she said she “could just tell he was putting a lot of blame on himself.”
That night, after telling her husband that she forgave him and would always love him, Landon went to take a bath, as he did every evening, but about 30 minutes later, when he still hadn’t come out, Camryn went to check on him and saw that the bath was empty.
After checking all the rooms in the house, she says she found him in the garage following an apparent suicide attempt.
Although Landon was admitted to the hospital after an EMT found his pulse, Camryn said that she knew early on not to get her hopes up — and on August 18 he was declared brain dead. “My heart just sank. I knew pretty much that whole week that was going to happen at some point but to actually hear it and know it, it was really hard,” she said.
Camryn went on to share that while she will always have questions, she knows her husband "was not thinking rationally" when he died following an apparent suicide attempt.
"If he knew everything that would follow after he did what he did, he wouldn't have," she said. “This is why I am here to tell his story, because there are so many people out there who need to hear about.”
View this post on Instagram
August 13th 2020 was Landon’s last day being the best dad and husband he could be. After spending the following 6 days in a coma he passed on and donated several organs to people in need all over the country. He died saving the lives of others. That’s the type of person he was. Compassionate, loving, thoughtful, kind, and gentle. He was an amazing husband and the best father those girls could of ever asked for. It saddens me deeply that they will never get to truly know him. He was so young and had so much more life to live. This isn’t how things were supposed to go. He was meant to make it to his next birthday. He was meant to walk his daughters down the isle. He was meant to die old with me. Words can not come close to describe the pain I feel. All I can do now is make sure our girls know how much he loved us. He’s looking down on us from heaven and his light will shine through the clouds when we look up at him. May he rest peacefully.
Landon and Camryn, who married in June 2019, were parents to daughters Collette Briar, 2, and Delilah Rose.
Together, the couple shared videos chronicling their daily lives with more than 1 million subscribers on the YouTube channel “Cam&Fam,” which they began after Camryn gave birth to their first daughter when she 16 years old.
A GoFundMe for the family has so far raised more than $32,000.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please contact the SAMHSA substance abuse helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
Source: Read Full Article