Vinnie Jones has emotionally confessed that he's waiting until the day he's reunited with his late wife Tanya.
The footballer-turned-actor tragically recalls the actress' final moments in his new book Lost Without You.
In candid extracts published by The Sun, Vinnie writes: "I was holding her when she was taking her last breaths.
"I felt the pain leave her. It had been six years of pain, but now it was flying away, Tinker Bells of pain flying from her body. I felt Tanya leave."
Vinnie continues: "I sometimes tell people that I’m just waiting to be reunited with Tans.
"I suppose in some ways I'm just hanging around, half-living, until I get to see her again.
"Everyone tries to talk me out of it — 'You're not old, Vin,' they say, 'You’re healthy, you have lots of time left.'
"But it’s how I feel some days. I’m just waiting, kicking my heels, passing the time, keeping busy, hitting f***ing golf balls into a sea of sadness."
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Tanya died in July 2019 after a battle with cancer.
She was just 53 years old. They had been together for27 years.
Speaking frankly about how he's struggled to cope, the 55-year-old said: "I’m seeing someone three times a week.
"I thought I was doing OK, and then the anniversaries of Tan’s death and our daughter Kaley’s birthday were approaching and it was like somebody just drained the life out of me.
"It feels like you’re pushing a truck with no petrol from here to Manchester uphill on the M1."
"I’ve kind of shut myself away from close friends as well. I don’t know why.
"I watch a movie on TV but just stare through it, I’m not taking it in."
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