A MUM has posted a brutally honest listing for her £100 "f***ing monstrosity" of a caravan on Facebook Marketplace.
Katie Perkins branded her 27-year-old caravan a "hunk of junk" and a "tin shed on wheels".
The 35-year-old didn’t hold back as she reeled off a lengthy list of faults for the "ancient” caravan which she claims she would trade for £100 – or two bottles of red wine.
Katie, of Glastonbury, Somerset, posted on Facebook: “It is not pristine, it is not pretty, it is a tin shed on wheels, it is f***** hot in the summer, it is f****** freezing in the winter, it even grows icicles on the inside.
“It could do with a full replacement of carpets. It needs a good bleach clean throughout.
“It has a s*** oven, it has a s*** hob, it has a s*** fridge.”
Katie's family lived in the caravan for seven years while building their “dream home” – but Katie says their plans “turned into a f***** nightmare.”
The fed-up mum even issued a pregnancy warning with the tiny caravan after her family grew from four to seven while living there.
She added: “Kids were potty trained in it. Dog was potty trained in it.
“It has been used for storage for the last nine months. Next stop, the f****** chickens are going in it.
“Beds have been destroyed and I cannot be f****** to remove.
“I’m sure if you are looking at it you can use it for something, I don’t give a f*** what.”
On the bright side, Katie admits the caravan comes with a “pretty decent microwave” and has extras including old shoes, abstract art drawings by her children and old bottles of booze under the sink.
In a final foul-mouthed flourish, Katie says she’d accept very little to get the “hunk of junk” out of her life.
She says: “F*** it – if you truly want this f****** monstrosity then I will trade it for a couple boxes of hubby’s favourite red wine – Jammy Red Roo or Jam Shed.
Get this hunk of junk of my f******* land. I’d love to say it’s f****** beautiful but I’d be lying.
“I’d love to say I loved living in it, but I’d be lying.
“I’d love to say I’d look forward to a caravan holiday, but guess what?…I’d be lying.
“The pictures of the inside are s*** – enjoy.”
Now Katie’s hilarious listing has attracted over 1,000 shares and hundreds of comments from social media fans bowled over by her honesty.
One admiring fan commented on the post: “This is the best f****** advert ever.”
Another gushed: “Seven years! Yikes, with five kids. I hope you are now enjoying the lovely new house you built.”
A third social media user was unconvinced by the offering, writing: “Pictures are a bit of an embarrassment, wants burning down."
But Katie simply responded: “I'm mortgage free and own a six bed house at 35. So I couldn't give a flying f*** about you and your opinions.”
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