UK town slammed as ‘soulless bum hole of a place’ in comedian’s ruthless rinsing

A stand-up comedian has put a UK town to the sword, calling it a “soulless bumhole” as he passed through on tour.

Mike Bubbins gave a “love letter” to Swindon, which he deemed so unique it became “the only destination on my Throwback tour to get a bespoke video.”

With poor attendance booked for the show, he slammed the townspeople on Twitter and begged the question of what else it was they were doing.

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He blasted: “Enjoy the fact that you’re equidistant between Reading and Bristol and that you’re a medieval village in the Domesday Book that’s now a new town.

“Enjoy walking round identikit estates trying to work out where an address is.

“Just soak in the ambience of the place. Just soak in the ambience of the concrete and roundabouts."

Mike was reeling off a list of sold-out shows on his tour, thanking the people of those towns for their support and laughs – and then he got to Swindon.

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“I’ve had so many nice gigs, some big venues, some small venues but [they’ve] all been lovely audiences [and] great crews.”

He continued: “I’ve had good nights, a couple of beers with the punters… quite a few beers with the punters, and seen some lovely parts of the world, different parts of the country – I want to say a massive thank you!

“The only sort of blot on the whole thing really is Swindon tomorrow.”

He continued: “I think I’ve just had the update for Swindon – 80, 80 people in Swindon – a town of 186,000 people.

“What an absolute bum hole of a place.

“I talk about it with other comics, I don’t know anyone who enjoys playing there. Soulless, lifeless commuter.”

He mocked how the city’s Wikipedia entry “bragged” about its central location between Reading and Bristol which Mike said, “tells you everything you need to know.”

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He continued: “I’m not going to tell you where it is, what time it is – I don’t give a f***.”

It seems Mike isn’t the only one with no love for Swindon with people across the web offering some fairly unkind reviews of the place.

One former resident described it to the Daily Star as "concrete dereliction" and, cryptically, a "sausage machine".

On Mumsnet, one user called it “a large frankly featureless town,” before going on to describe it as “dull as ditch water”.

Another user wrote on Reddit: “I found it odd when I came. The majority of locals I met or talked to would say ‘Swindon is a dump’. You will hear that attitude quite a bit.”

A second wrote: “It’s quite stuck in time and lifeless. The town centre has been in a spiral dive for the last 10 years with shops closing and failed regeneration schemes.”


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