Ukrainians respond to Putin’s threats of nuclear weapon by ‘organising an orgy’

More than 15,000 randy Ukrainians are literally planning to go out with a bang in the event of a nuclear attack on their country.

That is the number of people who have signed up to an online invitation on the Telegram messaging service to join in an orgy on a hill outside Kyiv if Vladimir Putin reaches for the red button.

The mass sex party would take place at Shchekavystsa and those attending would be invited to decorate their hands with stripes to denote their nookie preferences – three stripes would be for anal sex enthusiasts and four stripes for oral sex fans.

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Organisers have also posted the following claim online: "They say that all the apartments with a view of Shchekavystsa have for some reason disappeared from real estate sites."

Explaining how the plan epitomises the Ukrainian spirit, a local woman told Radio Free Europe: "It’s the opposite of despair. Even in the worst-case scenario, people will look for something good. That’s the mega-optimism of Ukrainians."

A man added: "It’s an attempt to show that the more they try to scare us, the more we will transform it into something else."

When an air-raid siren was sounded last week, one member of the orgy group even posted excitedly: "Is it time?" with a smiley face – a comment that received just under 600 smiley-faced responses.

In Kyiv, meanwhile, preparations are being made for if Putin does order a nuclear blast with chemists stocking radiation pills, as they are in neighbouring countries like Poland.

Cyprus is more further afield, but reports are suggesting that residents on the Mediterranean island are concerned that the country's pharmacists do not stock iodine pills and only have dietary iodine supplements available, which offer no protection in the case of a nuclear event.

And, earlier this week, The Times claimed that Nato has warned its member countries that Putin could conduct a nuclear test on Ukraine's borders.

None of that is dampening the ardour of the Telegram group, though, and a splinter faction are now planning a separate orgy on Derybasivska Street in Odessa.

Tesla chief Elon Musk will not be welcome at either, however, having made suggestions on how the Russian invasion could be ended that upset Ukrainians and their president Volodymyr Zelensky.

The Orgy on Shchekavystsa group responded by posting: "Official statement: As of today, Elon Musk is persona non grata in Shchekavystsa."

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