Muhannad Kaddour was in trouble with his missus after she found the nail and smelt cannabis in his Lexus RX400 last week.
But the 32-year-old then discovered the couple in the car and decided to trap them inside until cops showed up.
Police arrived at his home in Leytonstone, East London, on Friday night but apparently told him there was nothing they could do and the man and woman were let go.
Muhannad said: "These two scumbags have been getting into my car, stealing my stuff, making it dirty, smoking their drugs in there, and now they are caught they are going to let them go.
"It's like theft is not a crime anymore. There's no point in catching anybody as they just let them go.
"The police don't bother catching the criminals. Then we catch them and the police let them go."
The dad-of-two was baffled after £150 worth of items – including sunglasses, gadgets, his daughter's book bag and phone chargers – vanished.
But he landed himself in hot water after his wife discovered the fake nail in the footwell of the car.
Software engineer Muhannad said: "My wife was like every woman saying 'what the hell is that doing in there? Who was with you in the car?' and I didn't have any idea.
"She started giving me that look, like 'who the hell have you been with?'
"Thankfully I have nothing to hide so I wasn't bothered."
Convinced someone had been in the car, Muhannad turned detective and began checking the vehicle was locked each night by clicking his remote key from inside the house through the window.
But on Friday, he heard a "strange noise" so ran out barefoot to investigate – discovering the pair sitting inside his motor.
He said: "To my shock, I saw two people sat inside the car. I was so shocked I was checking the number plate to check it was my car as they looked so comfortable.
"They had things out on my dashboard, they had a small tin in which they were clearly keeping their cannabis, they had roll up paper. They had money out.
"I think they got the code and were bobbing in whenever they wanted, chilling out and seeing if there was anything they wanted. Then they would just run off."
Muhannad claims the couple told cops they had found the car unlocked and were sitting inside it to make sure it wasn't stolen.
He has now made a formal complaint against the police about the incident and is hoping to take the matter to his local MP.
A Met Police spokesman said: "Police attended the scene after a man reported he had detained two suspected car thieves.
"However officers were satisfied that there was no evidence of any offences after speaking to them in detail.
"An individual made a complaint and it's being looked into."
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