JENNI MURRAY: 25 years on, women my age rue the day Viagra was invented

• In 2022 alone, 4.35 million Viagra prescriptions were handed out
• READ MORE: The little blue pill may make it hard… to see! Man, 32, goes blind in one eye after using Viagra

Oh, how excitement buzzed around the men in my circle of 45 to 50-year-olds when, 25 years ago, a little blue pill called Viagra was approved for use in the UK for the treatment of erectile dysfunction.

I don’t recall any of the men using the word ‘dysfunction’ as a reason for wanting to get hold of some as fast as possible.

‘Why are you so interested in this?’ asked those of us — female — who were perfectly satisfied with close, warm, affectionate and occasionally thrilling sex lives. 

‘What do you want it for? You don’t have a problem.’ ’You’re right,’ they all nodded, sagely. ’But just think. We’ll be bigger, stiffer — guaranteed. You’ll all love it.’

How our hearts sank. Had they never listened when we’d told them it wasn’t size that mattered, but how they used their equipment that gave us our thrills? 

Many women didn’t welcome the chemically-induced expression of desire that Viagra delivered at any time of the day and night

Were their ears closed when, on the rare occasions they seemed to wilt a bit, we said we didn’t really care. We were not as hungry for it on a day-to-day basis as we had been when we were younger.

Yes, sex was great from time to time. But as we’d grown older, there was a less urgent need for them to perform — to confirm their masculinity and our femininity — every time we got into bed.

Often a kiss, a cuddle and a good night’s sleep was perfectly satisfying. We didn’t want to be fighting our exhaustion, coping with a chemically-induced expression of desire, at any time of the day and night. 

We didn’t want it to last for a long time. We didn’t want to deal with the after-effects of several over-enthusiastic batterings.

No, from the moment it launched in 1998, Viagra had no place on our shopping list. In Viagra, we had a scientific discovery entirely aimed at men for which women’s views and needs were ignored.

We weren’t even asked for our opinion on whether a priapic husband or lover would be a good thing. Men who were asked thought it was a great idea, and went on to give Pfizer one of the most lucrative accidental discoveries in medical science.

The pill was almost overlooked. A group of Pfizer chemists were conducting a medical trial for an angina drug on young men in Sandwich, Kent. The men were not responding well to the drugs; five of the eight had experienced ‘very hard erections’ as a result.

It was only when these patients were found to be reluctant to hand the angina drugs back, that the penny dropped. Bingo!

Jenni Murray wished men would understand that a kiss, a cuddle and a good night’s sleep was perfectly satisfying

A bit more research and Viagra was born. There’s a plaque marking the moment of lift-off in Sandwich; the chemist who led the project has a knighthood.

But the development of Viagra was something of a disaster for women. By 2018, the designer Diane von Furstenberg was describing it as ‘the worst thing that has happened to women in the last 15 years’.

I have plenty of friends who have told me they agree with her completely. They’ve often felt they should just say no, but, in that kind and generous manner from which women suffer so often, they’ve been afraid to turn down any approaches, not wanting to make the husband feel he’s no longer loved or desired. 

Instead they have suffered the permanent pestering — and it’s got worse as they’ve got older and their own libidos have waned.

In 2022 alone, 4.35 million prescriptions were handed out, and the oldest user was 99 years old.

Former senator Bob Dole, then 75, appeared in the U.S. launch commercial. Hugh Hefner took so much of it that his wife revealed after, he died at 91, that it made him deaf in one ear.

Michael Douglas, 79, and Jack Nicholson, 86, have both taken it.

Some younger men, including the cricketer, Freddie Flintoff, now 45, have been seduced by it. 

In 2022 alone, 4.35 million prescriptions were handed out, and the oldest user was 99 years old

Having taken three Viagra one night during a Test Match, he recalled: ‘Trying to bat the next day in that state was not easy. I was run out, simply because I couldn’t move. I could only hop.’ Now that’s just not cricket. Pity the poor wives and girlfriends of them all.

The interesting thing Viagra has taught us about sex is that enabling one of those mighty erections by relaxing the blood vessels in the penis does not increase desire. You still have to be up for it to be up for it.

Murray Blacket, a psychosexual therapist, recently commented: ‘Before Viagra, erectile dysfunction was thought to be 90 per cent psychological and 10 per cent organic. With everything put out by the drug companies over the years, that’s now reversed.

It’s seen as mostly an organic, physical problem.’

May I suggest then, guys, its time to get your heads around this one. Maybe without Viagra you can’t get it up because you watched too much pornography, you don’t exercise, you don’t eat well, you rarely get a good night’s sleep. You’re old, you’re exhausted, you and your partner are past childbearing age. The Full Monty is no longer necessary.

Viagra has potential side effects — headaches, nausea, indigestion and dizziness are common.

There’s also a chance of embarrassing priapism — an erection that won’t go away — and even cardiac arrest.

Instead chaps, get fit, stop worrying about your penis and learn how to love the woman you love. She’ll be grateful and will never think you don’t fancy her any more. A kiss, a cuddle and an ‘I love you’ will do just fine.

Believe me, I know.

They didn’t look anything like that!

Unlookalikes: Harry (played by Fflyn Edwards, left) and William (Rufus Kampa) with Diana (Elizabeth Debicki)

We’re excited in this household that tonight sees the start of the final series of The Crown. It’s the first television programme my Ukrainian guest, Zoriana, can’t wait to see. It’s really big over there she tells me.

Everybody loves to learn about the real lives of the British Royal Family. I didn’t want to disillusion her by saying it’s not all true or that so many of the characters bear no more than a passing resemblance to the genuine article. Happy that Meg Bellamy is a dead-ringer for the Princess of Wales. Zoriana loves Kate.

But William and Harry? Oh dear!

TV proves women’s prisons are bad as ever

I don’t remember the last time I wept during a TV programme, but Jimmy McGovern’s BBC drama Time (starring Jodie Whittaker) reduced me to tears. 

Jodie Whittaker (pictured) stars in BBC drama Time

A young woman, abused by her drug dealer boyfriend, finds she’s pregnant. One of her cellmates helps deliver her baby. She finds a rare place in a mother-and-baby unit. Clean from drugs, she loses the place and her baby thanks to her boyfriend’s abuse.

In 2007, Baroness Corston published her report on the damage done to children by harsh, often short sentences their mothers served. 

She proposed conventional prison only for women who are dangerous. Why are her proposals still stuck on a shelf?

I’ll always remember joy of the original Avon Ladies

Cosmetic giant Avon is now launching shops in order to reach more women who work

‘Ding-dong, Avon calling,’ was heard many times in my childhood as we teased my Avon Lady mother.

So I was relieved to hear the role will continue even though the cosmetic giant is now launching shops in order to reach more women who work.

Some traditions should never die.

So, Suella Braverman’s resignation letter . . . clearly Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and his special advisers have forgotten the adage: ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.’ 

Follow: @whjm 

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