‘My perv colleague slaps his todger on my desk every day asking if I fancy it’

My co-worker thinks it’s funny to expose himself – all the time.

Hardly a day goes by without him ripping open his shirt, dropping his trousers or getting me to feel his muscles. Sometimes he’ll innocently undo his belt and unzip his fly to tuck in his shirt, but I think it’s all part of the same wind-up.

He thinks I’m his mate and that we have a “rapport”. But I’m sick of the man and his mooning and constant sausage jokes. After lunch he slaps his willy on my desk and says things like: “How do you fancy that between two slices of bread?” Then he laughs hysterically.

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I’m currently seeing more of his todger than my boyfriend’s, because he is working away. Our office Christmas party is looming and this clown has started making comments about the great time we’ll have dancing and shagging in the boardroom.

He honestly expects me to get off with him. I’m outraged. I was really looking forward to our party (the first since 2019) and now I don’t know if I can go because he’s spoilt it for me.

What annoys me is that colleagues already assume we’re sleeping together. The other day a woman from accounts complained about him being over familiar with her in the canteen.

She hissed: “You want to keep that boyfriend of yours in check”.

But he’s not my lover and never will be. I’ve warned him that if he oversteps the mark again, I’m going to our boss and the police – in that order – but he laughs.

He knows I haven’t got the nerve because he has problems with his poorly parents and I’m too soft. Our company operates a zero-tolerance policy regarding harassment and he’d be out on his ear tomorrow if I spoke up.

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JANE SAYS: You need to be aware that this guy knows exactly what he’s doing. E ven seemingly innocent acts like tucking in his shirt are designed to intimidate you and wear you down.

This is neither funny nor fair. He’s a pest and needs to hear that he’s harassing and embarrassing you. Too many times now he’s deliberately exposed himself. You’re not his mate.

Tell him today that you are not interested in him as a lover. Warn him you’re going to your office Christmas party with your head held high to have a good time. Tell him to keep away from you. I don’t know what kind of stories he’s told you about his “sick parents”, but if he’s using relatives to make you feel sorry for him then that’s cynical and outrageous.

I feel he needs to be reported to your boss right now. Promise me you’ll dial 999 immediately if you ever feel in danger from this man.

I strongly suspect that he has a history of this sort of behaviour. I very much doubt you’re the first person he’s flashed at and he needs to be stopped before he upsets and harasses anyone else.

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